Traditions, holidays, birthdays, and just those good ole lazy days, will never again be the same. I grew up out at my great-grandmother’s house. Until I was seven, it was the place I called home. In the movie, ‘Where The Heart Is’, one character says, ‘Home is where they catch you, when you fall.’ I believe that whole-heartedly. That old farm caught me when I fell many times. I remember going out there to soul search. I’d pick a pretty, warm, sunny day and go for a walk. I’d think about life, what I’d accomplished already, and what I hoped to accomplish in the future. I debated over life-altering decisions. To go to Cosmetology school, or to find something else. To keep working at McDonald’s, or move on to the salon and do hair. To confront my dad or to let it sit, pretending everything was all right. Those are some of the things I thought about while I strolled through the open plots of land way out in the country. I made my choices while the wind whispered though the trees, the sun. I could imagine the divorce as I was raked over thecoals by family and friends for making such a radical life choice anddestroying two perfectly good lives in the process. As I drove on, Ibegan to dwell on the pain I would cause all of my family and friends ifI chose this life. I could see myself being quietly fired from my job inthe city government because of my choice despite their claims ofdesiring an inclusive and integrated workplace. As I reached my home andparked my car in the attached garage, a tear slipped from my right eyeas the implications of this potential choice sunk in.I walked into the house and sat at my kitchen table with my head in myhands contemplating my situation. I walked to the liquor cabinet andpoured myself three fingers of Bourbon and grabbed a notepad off of thecounter along with a pen. I began to write the positives and negativesabout the choice that I faced. After about fifteen minutes of writing, Icame to the conclusion that I would have to investigate.
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