It would be best that you change now, versus attempting to do so once we are on the ground,” one of the stewardesses on the flight said as she was checking on April. “We have provided you clothing for your adventures. Your clothes will make you appear to be a young couple starting out on their own with a new baby. For the pick-pockets, muggers, thieves, and drug addicts, there are too many distracted rich tourists for them to consider you a target. You will appear a bit further ahead in life than them, but not by much.”What she hadn’t told us was that the clothes weren’t the best fit for us. They didn’t look terrible, but they were clean and didn’t have stains or tears. Mine had to look like I didn’t have the ripped body I did now. Elena’s made her look like a new mother trying to wear the clothes from before she had the baby. She looked plain. The tiniest bit of makeup made her look like a tired, but pretty, new mother. Elena was happy to show me that she had on biking pants and. But, we both know that I am not ready to do that ... not yet. I do not wish for anything to happen to you because of this damnable power that seems to control my life. I ... I am sorry. It is just that when you touch me, I do not wish to control myself. My entire life has been that of me controlling my wants and desires. Ever since the death of my papa, I held back from those around me, remaining both untouched and unloved. I listened and watched as everyone lived around me. I have hidden behind a mask, pretending that I did not want the same things other women wanted, but I do want them. Actually, I want you, Erik! My body aches with its need of you. When you place your hands on me, I burn deep inside. You are not the only one that feels tormented, mon amour. I may be untouched, but I am not wholly innocent. I am aware of the things that men and women do. One cannot live on an estate the size of the de Mornay's without witnessing several assignations. I realize that I must learn.
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