Well, I was there for a reason Sandy had brought me and it wasn't to socialise. The grand old Duchess told Sandy to get me in the arena, and get me to the arena she did. Not before the grand old Duchess had fastened my wrists behind my back with a plastic tie though. It was the rules Sandy whispered to me as she took me over and registered me with the girl on duty. Male hands were forbidden here! The girl official took a card from Sandy and scanned the QR code on it. All my details popped up on her screen, and I mean all! Not just my measurements, but also those measurements, and what looked like a list of the dates of my most recent wanks too. I didn't even know that Sandy had compiled that data. Actually, I didn't even know it was worse than that. I was on Sandy's database accessable to any of the women here and was advertised as a runner on the race card for the evening. I found out afterwards that I was 5:1 at the paddock where Sandy led me round for inspection. I was entered in. I started to cry, which I think relieved everyone, but then I couldn’t stop crying. I was crying for Rebekka Rose, I was crying for the father she never knew, and the man who never had the chance to be a father, I was crying for me and I was crying because I didn’t know how not too anymore. After I while I just became too tired to do anything but lay there. They had taken her from me after a while. I laid there while my mom held me and my family watched me. I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t want to do anything. It felt like the life had been sucked right out of me. Eventually they made me leave, made me go home, told my family to watch me. I wasn’t going to do anything. I had no energy to do anything, never mind what they obviously thought I was going to do. I laid in bed all day, didn’t sleep much, didn’t eat much, didn’t talk at all, I couldn’t. Or at least I couldn’t for a little while. After some time I started to be with others again, be with family. I still didn’t say much, but.
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