You should be with Jeff and Trip. You should be out there, drunk and yelling. Hell, you could even be the guy praying to the porcelain god.But you're not. You're here in front of your laptop.The year started off great. Being a Business major had been the perfect fit. Economics, marketing and even statistics had come easy. A 4.0 the first three semesters of college was pointing its way right to an MBA at the school of your choice. And there was Jane. Fun, smart and hot as hell. She really was the perfect girlfriend.But she's out with her friends and you're here. With your laptop.Jane might not be perfect for everyone, but it really worked for you. A little on the short side, but nice and curvy while still being fit. Her features were more cute than beautiful, matching her bubbly, positive personality. The sex was great. She was only the third girl you had ever slept with and only the second you'd slept with more than once. The difference was night and day. She was comfortable with her. He’s like really old isn’t he? Well, thirty-nine is old to me, my father is that old for Pete’s sake.”“Okay I will consider it. But you will have to get me drunk first and then dare me to fuck him.”“I know, a fuck is just a fuck.”Heather came out of her room unexpectedly and saw me standing there. She asked, “How long have you been standing there you little pervert?”I replied, “Long enough.”She said, “Don’t get any ideas. I just told her that I’d fuck you to get her off my back. They don’t make enough alcohol for me to fuck you.”I asked, “Then what about me fucking Jennie?”Heather said, “Oh, she just wants to put another notch in her headboard. She’d let a one-eyed pirate with a parrot on his shoulder fuck her with his peg leg.”I started laughing, she pushed me aside, and stormed downstairs.Soon Mom was shouting, “Get down here young man.”That was not a good sign but I rushed down anyway prepared for the worst. All Mom wanted was for me to take out the garbage that I was supposed to.
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