‘You know, you’re right, I’m not – not anymore. I know I was earlier, but now that you mention it it’s more like just … curious. But that’s another thing that I think I remember: the more I think about it, the more I kind of feel like I’m actually supposed to be here.’ ‘Really?’ asked the voice. ‘Yeah, I can’t say why, or how, but now that I’ve had a chance to calm down a little it’s not like I feel like I have to escape or ‘get out of here’ any more, you know? It’s more that I’m just … confused. Like there’s something I’m supposed to do. And I want to just … do *that*, you know, just … do whatever I’m supposed to do. ‘But I just can’t figure out what that is,’ continued the patient. ‘Hey, do you … know what I’m supposed to do?’ ‘What? No, how the f– No. Look, from what you’ve told me, you could be anywhere. It sounds like a mental ward, frankly, so maybe you do belong there. You act like you don’t even know your own name, or how you got to … wherever you are, so maybe you are there. He cannot speak. Vision after vision is exploding upon the inner eye and he knows if he says anything now he’ll say far too much, that what she’s just described – the woman obligated to work herself to the most public of orgasms, convulsing and spilling in front of an audience; the man obligated to delight another audience by doing the exact same -- yes oh God: he would appreciate watching both in all their gloriously decadent spillage.But Jeez, how perverse is that? ‘It’s like,’ she continues, then stops, marshalling more of her words into line. ‘It’s like cunnilingus. Like. . . Fellatio. For God’s sweet sake, what do they mean? What the hell do they convey? I want you to go down on me. I want you to eat me, feast on me, drink me. Your cock, I want to suck it, suck it and swallow all your cum. So why don’t we say so? Why aren’t we honest about what we enjoy?’Omigod, he thinks. I’ll come soon. I’ll come without even touching myself.It’s an effort to pull back from that, to push the.
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