Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.Ring fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.Bathing a Cat Cat – Plan "A"A. Know that although the cat has the advantage. ”The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won’t.”Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, “You’re on!”Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, “Fair’s fair ... Here’s your money.”Jack replied, “I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o’clock news and knew he would jump.”The blonde replies, “I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again.”Jack took the money.✧ ✧ ✧Say thanks to Allan for the following... How do pigs make coffee?With porculators... ✧ ✧ ✧Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.” The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren” and poof! she’s gone. The second says, “I want-a to be Madonna” and poof! she’s gone. The third says, “I want-a to be Sara.
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