"You look hot," she said. "And not just because it's 102 degrees."* *Later, at the hotel's reception welcoming us, the ribbing continued. Wemoved around the grand ballroom, snacking on local seafood. There waseven alcohol, even though I read there wouldn't be.A big man with a shaved head saw me and smiled."Hello, mademoiselle," he said. "I am Jabar. You're looking lovely." Ha ha," I said. "I was tricked." Were you?" he said. "And perhaps the wind of destiny blew across you." What do you mean," I said."I mean that perhaps you are supposed to be in women's clothes," hesaid. "Perhaps you are khanith." I'm sorry. I don't know that term." It is a man who functions as a woman," he said. "Some call them Khawal.Or bacha bazi. You know. Alternate lifestyles." I ... I thought being gay or trans was forbidden here," I said. "Mytravel guide said it was illegal." It is. And yet, it exists. There are thousands of transgender womenhere. It is a part of nature. They just learn to keep a low profile. “What?” she asked with a smattering of irritation in her voice. “I’m trying to apologize here and show you I’m working on being a better person now. I know better than to act like I did back then...”“Faye ... I think your counselor is wasting your time ... and probably your dad’s money, too,” I returned, “if that’s all she’s trying to get you to understand. Well, I don’t know ... maybe that’s just a first step and she still has some ground to cover.”I paused to gather my thoughts. “You see, to me, when you tell me you wouldn’t do something because the consequences are too harsh, you’re saying the punishment for ... whatever that something is ... is too tough, so you won’t do it again.”She was even more unhappy. I was calling into question whether she’d actually changed or not.“But Faye,” I added as gently as I could, “ ... don’t you understand? That’s a kind of a ‘risk analysis’, isn’t it? You’re saying, ‘I won’t do this or that because I don’t want to get caught and get punished.
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