I wanted to see her so much! Did I dare? I had only just gotten my system up and connected when she took the lead:Jan - Dinner tonight, 6PM our house. Be there! me - R U sure this is a good idea? Jan - Bill wants to meet you. Promise you'll come? me - You really want to do this? Jan - YES!! me - OK where is it? Jan - 3781 Elm. BE THERE!! me - OK, OK, I'll be there. Jan - I can't wait!!'This has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life, ' I thought as I turned onto Elm street. 'It's going to be a disaster, ' I told myself as I caught an address on the 3400 block.I very nearly turned around at the next corner, but Jan had been so sure she wanted me to come, and I had promised her. She would be furious with me if I backed out now.Ah, there was the house. I parked at the curb and made my way to the door with a huge weight in my stomach. 'You can do this, Ron, ' I nearly said aloud as I reached for the doorbell. 'Do it for Jan, ' were my thoughts as I waited for someone. I was kind of taken aback byher change in attitude, but it was nice. The quiet, withdrawn girldisappeared and a new vivacious girl appeared. We began sharing ourstories about school, life, relationships. She seemed very interestedin what I had gone through as I transition. I told her that I fallenfor Jenny before I had decided that I wanted to live my life as a womanand that I was lucky to have. When she asked about how my family tookmy decision, I was more than open about my mother and brothers'reactions to everything. I purposely did not mention my father, but shepicked up on that and asked me about my father's reaction I took a deepbreath and told her how my father. I told her about the night he foundme dressed at Christmas time and the verbal beatdown I had taken. Itold her about how he died. I could see the expression on her face fromdisbelief to one of sympathy. I could see her begin to understand thestruggles I had gone through. But most important, I also think.
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