I’ve always hated shopping, so instead of spending weeks researching the best breed for what I had planned for my new pet, I spent a few hours riffling through Kijiji ads—for those of you who are unfamiliar with Kijiji, it’s basically the Canadian version of Craigslist. It didn’t take long before I found the perfect dog for me. He was a full-grown, perfectly-trained Dalmatian by the name of Spots. The couple it belonged to had just split up and neither of them wanted him as he was a constant reminder of what they had lost. They didn’t say it in those exact words, but that was the vibe I got. To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t care less. All that mattered was convincing them I was suited to become Spots’ new master. I was as truthful as I could, though I had to conceal the fact I planned on letting Spots take my bestial virginity.I admitted I had never owned a dog, but explained I grew up on a small farm and knew how to tend to animals. I also assured them I had done the necessary. And this is our baby, Belinda." She looked down at the bundle in her arms and smiled."Please sit down," Ida Marie said, using the little speech she had practiced to herself for two days, "I am so glad you could come. Let me pour you some coffee."Intimidated by the nice speech, Cassie sat and stared at the table. She was afraid to say anything. This older woman sounded so refined. "Thankee," she said in a small voice.Harley said, "Sit yourself, Lee Roy."Lee Roy sat and sipped his coffee. "This is very tasty coffee, Missus Duran." His self-tutoring was paying off. He sounded real refined."Oh hell, just call me Ida. I never been called Missus nothing in my whole life." Ida Marie smiled at Lee Roy and Cassie.Cassie blurted out a surprised, "You are real nice." Well, I hope so." Ida Marie laughed answered, "I'd sure hate trying to go around being mean all th' time." I was afraid you was going to look down on us." the young girl said."Me too." Ida Marie answered. "I guess we both been.
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