"I looked back down and finished tying my shoe, then stood. "Good," I said flatly."That's all?" What do you want, a pat on the back? Let's be honest, the only reason I care at all is that I put my reputation on the line too. You passed one test. Try passing the next one, and the one after that. Maybe after you've passed fifty, I'll be impressed."I turned my back and pulled my helmet out of my locker."About that?"I turned back."I don't think it's fair that I have to take a test every week. Nobody else does. I'm clean, that should be enough."I decided that I really needed to stop trying to help people. I remembered deciding not to get involved anymore before dinner at Darlene's last year. How many times have I made that decision? Hell, I never did get my ribs."We had a deal," I said simply."Yeah, but, I'm clean. I'm already back on the team, and I'm doing great."That was true. Half a dozen sports writers were saying that he was cinch for all-state."We had a deal. You don't want to test,. The flames behind me warm my back and backside, but my chest feels cold. I can almost feel the damp coldness wash over from the lake through the close door.Sue does not turn when I come out to the porch, but stares at the ice dark lake water, or perhaps the fast-moving cumulus clouds that are the silver lining of a starry sky. For the first time I hear the wind whistling. I feel I must talk to my daughter, say something to her... explain... anything. I sense that she is troubled by what she saw, but I don't know it it is embarrassment, guilt or even jealousy. I put my hands on her shoulders, in a fatherly gesture. She does not flinch, she knows I am there. I want to press my body against her, but she is obviously upset... there should be space here now. It is hard for both of us to come to terms with the intimacy she has witnessed. I suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to share it with her.Sue has shared our parental love for her, but never actually witnessed our physical love until.
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