Im on the dance floor and there are lots of hot guys all around me. A couple randoms grind up on me at different points, i dance with them a bit and then move on. I spy an extremely large black man across the dance floor wearing a very snug tshirt that accentuates his absurdy great body and i cant help but check him out. Im almost dazed as i stare at his arms and pecs, this is what a man should look like. All of a sudden i snap out of it and realize he is watching me check him out. We make eye contact and he gives me a flattered smile. I flush red with embarassment and shuffle off the dance floor to the bar to hide in a glass. Hiding my shame in a glass when all of a sudden someone comes up behind me and asks to buy the next round. Its him! This godlike black man. We exchange pleasantries and introductions. His name is Devon. We hit the dance floor and he grinds up on me immediately. His hands are all over my ass. I can feel a gigantic bulge in his pants and my knees go qeak. He. " Sweetheart, you're a pair of tits. I haven't seen you act all week." Fuck you," I say, walking off stage, grabbing my bag and leaving, myheels clicking heavily in the silence. I burst out the doors and madeit twenty steps in the lobby before stopping to hug myself and give into the crying.Chapter 19I walk home, not making eye contact with anyone and feeling stupid. Iam stupid. I can't believe I thought this was going to work, that Iwas any good, that Scott gave a shit about me. That any of them gave ashit about me.Just another failure of Kevin Daly to add to the list: Collegedropout, failed actor, failed boyfriend crap schoolteacher, failedactor again. It all feels so pointless, so silly now. No matter howhard I tried no one was fooled anyway, not really. Or I wasn't given achance. Fuck Ellen for asking me to do this, and fuck her for tellingChalmers I was a fake. Fuck her for not having any confidence in me.Fuck her for coming home and ruining everything.I don't feel any better by.
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