(I warn you before you waste a lot of time reading, searching for torrid sex.) In an effort to reverse this depressing trend, I planned this romantic getaway to scenic "Camp Dysentery" in upstate Ohio.We didn't speak much during the drive, which was fortunate since I didn't have to reveal the cabin we rented was, allegedly, haunted. Big deal! So what? I mean, who you gonna call?Arriving at our destination, we were greeted by the spitting image of Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel from "The Simpson's." Hello, gals. I'm Ferlin Adams. Welcome to 'Camp Dysentery', although we ARE thinking of changing the name," he rambled."To what?" I asked."One of the gals in the office had a weird suggestion, 'Camp Cunnilingus.' She said it rolls off the tongue."Amid giggles, Katrina informed the hillbilly, we planned on doing some serious tongue rolling ourselves in the very near future. He was, naturally, oblivious. I wondered if Georgia O'Keeffe would design the new Camp tee shirts. (I'd buy a. It was late, or early depending upon how you marked the passage of time. The gate attendant was happy, this was her last flight of the day and she was looking forward to putting a long shift behind her. Reviewing the passenger manifest she was surprised that the company had actually kept this flight on schedule. So often now when a plane was this empty the flight was canceled, putting off the passengers to later flights so as not to waste the money on a nearly empty plane. She was glad they didn’t cancel, it had already been a horrible day with almost every flight delayed, eleven hours of pissed off passengers and disinterested flight crews was more than enough. Kim was grateful to end the day with an easy flight. ‘Only thirty-two people total, one special needs, six others in first class, everyone else in business. At least they will all have room to stretch out.’ Kim thought to herself as she turned from the passenger manifest to look out the window behind her. Clouds had rolled in.
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