Watching her finish a mouthful of cereal, I said, "Sooooo, that thing you've been wanting to try, that I've been putting off?" Her eyes brightened. "I want to do it." You do? Fer realz?" Like, right now. Before I change my mind."She immediately got up, swallowed, and took me by the hand. We went back to my parents' bedroom and she undressed me like a Christmas present. It was a little weird at first cuz she’s been my friend for so long. But, it was also a turn on because it felt forbidden. It was such a perfect sunny, Saturday morning it was surprisingly romantic and sweet. Once I felt her mouth on my vagina, I was hooked. I could tell she was really into my body, exploring every inch with her hands and her mouth. She kept watching my face while I looked down at her, fascinated by the experience of my friend desiring me that way."You're sure about this?" She asked as her fingers lightly massaged my labia, making my breath short. I nodded, barely able to concentrate through the intense. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that.
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