He sympathizes, but he doesn't let me make any excuses. He loves me enough to punish me the way I need to be punished. It's a special understanding that we have with each other. He's the one who loves me, so he's the one who's making me atone for what I've done. And when he's finished and I'm lying on the recovery table, he holds my hand and comforts me, and stays with me until I can get up. He understands. I need him to hurt me, but then I need him to comfort me and tell me that everything's gonna be fine. I need those moments with him, because it's the only way I'm able to face what I did with my life before I came back to Danube City." What you did was really that bad?" Yes. It wasn't just Kim and Susan. It wasn't just the drugs. There was more ... a lot more. If you'd seen some of my clients, and some of the shit they wanted me to do ... and I did it 'cause I wanted their money ... I mean ... I still have flashbacks. Vladik's the only person who understands that part of me ... he. " Drill, of course—that bugaboo of schoolchildren—was something utterly unnecessary, as was the obsessive note-taking of human students; just as the collective had shown itself able to grasp even the more abstruse nuances of Standard in a matter of days, it retained everything the humans could throw at it with no more evident effort than a shark gulping down its prey.And it asked questions. Endlessly. Not so much to challenge (although one or two of the scientists found themselves awkwardly justifying concepts that had been so much a part of their basic education that they'd lost track of the underlying rationale) but mostly simply to flesh out the structure of the knowledge it was receiving. There were none of the assigned teachers who, after more than a few hours' work, found themselves bored by this ever-eager, ever-striving student, and in a couple of instances ideas evoked by the persistent questioning were filed away mentally as possible future papers or research projects back.
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