Although my lifelong feminism gave me no concerns about a woman breastfeeding wherever and whenever it was needed, I had an even deeper-rooted self-consciousness about my microscopic boobs – which had perversely contrived to grow both larger and droopier at the same time.How my husband could continue to find my middle-aged, saggy boobs attractive was a mystery, but to my relief, Pete remained easily aroused by the slightest contact either with them or with any other part of my still baby-padded body.I gave up trying to understand this and got on with providing him with some form of sexual satisfaction as quickly as my recovering body would allow.*“I don’t know how you can do it. I couldn’t face going back to those days again,” Julie frowned as she sipped her glass of sauvignon blanc.It was late January and we were sitting in a private table in the corner of an Italian bistro, a short push of the baby-buggy from the city centre. My left breast had been bared, Leanne’s twelve-week-old. A man who would be gentle, considerate and kind to most I met. That day was the beginning of my transformation.As we shuffled through the hall to our first period homeroom. I was shouting "hi's" and "howareya's" to friends we passed in the hall, not thinking to introduce my best friend. I guess I took her for granted and thought that she would just know these guys and gals. She stiffened after the fourth or fifth person had gone by and it dawned on me what I had done. I started, with the very next person, to introduce her. "This is Sam, Samantha Morse, she moved in next door this summer and she's real cool." Sam flashed the 500-watt smile saving the extra wattage for just the right time. (I would see the 1000-watt version many times throughout the next few years.) Maybe somehow she knew that dazzling people with the full power would perhaps blind them.We made it to our assigned seats. I could never figure out how the teacher would assign seats, but I could not ever, and I mean never,.
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