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Smiling about it might make me seem like an asshole. Her intact virginity didn't seem too outlandish as she had high expectations most guys interested didn't meet.The first two boyfriends proved to actually be assholes and got dumped early, the third slapped her, four showed up for a date drunk and reeking of marijuana, and señor cinco was a good guy, but there was no real chemistry. It's still hard for me to believe she hadn't watched any porn by 23. Guess it wasn't her thing then, if ever. In any event, my response to her concern was that babies are way bigger than dicks. (Because at 23 I was so fucking eloquent)"It still fucking hurts!"to which I could not respond. Hell, I'm just happy to be there and now I have to fucking solve riddles? Where the hell was Cyrano de Bergerac now that I needed him? I gave up trying to come up with an answer and just hugged her."Look, I'll take it easy and go slow and if you can't because it hurts then I'll stop."It seems Master Yoda was right all. The picture in my mind of him lying there would send shudders through me. The heaves stopped, I lay there exhausted, finally turning over and sitting up. My shoulder throbbed terribly and the woods were quiet. Looking around, the gun had a sling, I removed it and fashioned a support for my arm from the neck. My feet were bare, I removed his shoes, putting them on. I checked the gun, the magazine had two rounds in the clip and an empty cartridge in the chamber. Lastly I examined him, searching his pockets. I found nothing much, a pocket knife, few coins, an empty gun clip, three bullets, a handkerchief, and a small length of rope. There was no identification and I never learned his name. Using the rifle, I stood and walked back down the path, I wanted my personal items. Inside, the light was poor and I was struck with the horrible odor, it was nearly overpowering. I poked through the debris, using the end of the gun. The room was a mess, trash everywhere. I located where I’d been.
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