I shouldn't play with myself here, not now. That would be so naughty, wouldn't it? Emily could still wake up at any moment. I stroked my finger back up between my parted pussy lips, dragged it over my erect clit, teasing myself. Was it being exposed outdoors like this that made me so horny? Was it the pot? I looked over at my sleeping friend. Or was it being close to Emily? Oh my gosh! How long had it been? Wasn't it time to put more sunscreen on Emily? You had to be very careful about reapplying, I knew. She would never forgive me if I let her burn. I got up off my own chair and sat on the edge of Emily's. I didn't bother being as careful this time. I knew she wouldn't wake up for some time, not until she'd slept off the wine and pot. This time I massaged the sunscreen into Emily's skin, rubbing her back and shoulders firmly, pressing with my palms, spreading my fingers wide to get it everywhere. I rubbed along the sides of her chest. Her breasts bulged out where they were pressed. I exposed myself to it and then banished it from sight. I did not believe that I had a permanent interest in sexual hedonism, I told myself that I was only watching it because every man would do the same thing.I should be like everybody else. I thought that I was tempted by the devil, not that I was the devil.Porn provides carnal knowledge, and often not very well. That was my excuse for not watching it.Like professional wrestling; the k**s all love it, and everybody else says that it's fake.Whenever I watched porn I thought about other sexual events that I made up in my head, not what I was watching.I hated porn. I wanted something more stronger than the porn that was available to me.I watch it for a little while and then I threw it in the trash. I was struggling with the devil, but I was also the devil.I want the world of sexual hedonism, but I want to love good people, and I want the light of God. I don't want to lose my soul, and I my evil is hidden within the fold. It is in a.
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