Then we’re looking at a middle-aged woman – sensibly dressed, long straight dark hair. We hear toward her... With her big warm sweater, knee length skirt, and sensible black boots, she looks very conservative. Very much the yummy mummy type – not sensational, but likely to get plenty of attention if she wanted it. It’s a lot easier to imagine her picking the kids up from school, or reading a bedtime story, than it is to believe that she really wants to be on this show... Once we are up close, we can see her soft, round features and twinkling eyes. When she smiles the bottom half of her face changes from round to triangular.She speaks with a cheery and - considering the location - surprisingly Irish tone, “Hello there, and welcome to The United Kingdom of Zoo ... My name is Tiffany Black, I’m a 36 year old housewife and mother-of-two, and it’s my fantasy to have sex with a dog...”We don’t do a montage this week ... Instead we just track backwards as our guest walks towards us through. I drifted between the two islands. It was lovely and quiet and hardly anyone else about. Most people on our trip and the boat anchored up nearby appeared to be dozing on their boats and I felt like I had the place to myself.I slowly moved myself backwards using just my hands, when suddenly I bumped into something. I turned quickly, shocked, fortunately the water was only chest deep or I might of got a mouthful. "Ciao," a voice said. I looked round and was confronted by what I can only describe as the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He was tall, dark haired, tanned and with a beautiful face. He smiled. I had to catch my breath. "Hi," I said.He smiled again."English?" he asked."Yes," I nodded."No speak," he said.I could see this wasnt going to be easy. I didnt speak any other languages. I pointed to myself and said, "I'm Anna." He just smiled.I didnt see much point continuing this and started to step away. Unfortunately there was a dip in the sandy sea bed which I managed to step.
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