I had thought it was the easy way out. And maybe it was for me, but not for Lucy and my mother.I had to spend the weekend in the hospital. Despite all the nurses, doctors, and counselors, I had never felt more alone in my life. I read and reread Lucy's letter while my mother's words echoed in my head. Was she gay? Is that what she meant? Did she want me to be with Lucy? I was so confused, and the counselors I talked to didn't help. I just couldn't open up to them and tell them what had happened.Monday arrived, and I was discharged, my wrist bandaged up and a prescription for penicillin and vicodin in my hand. I had nowhere to go. My father had disowned me, and Lucy wanted nothing to do with me. All my friends were devout Muslims; they had probably heard all the scandalous details and would now shun me.I found the slip of paper from Ashley tucked in my purse, the nice woman I had met at the support group. I had no one else to turn to, so I called her."Of course I can, sweetheart,". I sat heavily on the mattress. Maddux pushed her homework aside and sat up in a cross-legged position."Did Jenny just go home?" Yeah," I sullenly replied."Tell me what's going on." She looked attentive and I knew she was attentive. It was one of my sister's best character traits. "Shouldn't you be happy?"Maddux knew me well. Fifteen minutes ago I just completed good sex with Jenny again, so it wasn't too hard to figure that I should be happier than I currently felt."These two weeks with Jenny have been great," I attempted to explain, "but she says there is something missing and you know, I sort of feel the same way. Sort of. I don't know what it is." Girls need more than sex. We need dating and romance and stuff like that." Isn't all that stuff just so you eventually have sex anyway?" Well, I think a girl still needs that stuff even after she starts sleeping with a guy."As far as I knew Maddux was still a virgin, but she was still my best direct source for all things female."Jenny.
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