“You fucking cheat!” he screams. “You’ve been playing off the ladies’ tees all week.”Q: How do you know when you’re really ugly?A: Dogs close their eyes when they’re humping your legMemories from Chuck B ‎When I was in an all-boys high school, back during World War II, there was a fellow student with the surname of Cherkov. You can imagine how a bunch of teen boys pronounced that name. He was something of what may now be called a geek, and would always try to be first to answer questions in class. There was one time though, in I think a history class, the instructor asked a question, and the young man madly waved his hand as usual. Perhaps the older male instructor was a bit peeved at the antics, and I will always recall the rather disgusted tone of his voice as he said, “Okay Cherkov, shoot.” Someone started snickering, and in a moment the entire class was rolling in laughter to the instructor’s apparent bewilderment. Except red faced Cherkov, of course.True story, and one of my. Looking down as I lathered up my skinny body, I was totally disappointed. Completely hairless except for a tiny patch of peach fuzz on my groin, I looked more like a girl than a boy. I tried to work out and bulk up but all it got me was more toned, except for my gluteus maximus, which turned it into a bubble butt. Today at work, I was organized the shelves when I heard a voice behind me, “Miss, excuse me miss. Do you have duct tape?”I turned around and the lady just looked at me. I guess with my long hairless legs sticking out of my khaki shorts and a slightly too tight polo shirt, she still thought I was a girl. I sighed and showed her where the tape was. I get it all the time. With feminine features, no facial hair, full pink lips and bright green eyes, at least half the people I meet aren’t sure what I am. My hair doesn’t help. Long straight and blonde, I leave it loose and really don’t want to cut it. Even in blue jeans and a plaid lumberjack shirt, people aren’t.
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