Finally I had my first girlfriend We were together for about eight months before the subject of sex came up and she asked me how many girls have I slept with. It was the last question I wanted her to ask. I was so embarrased of my answer. "Please don't laugh at me", I said, very reservered, "but I'm a virgin." She looked at me slightly confused and said, "I find that extremely hard to believe. You good looking and extremely intelligent and funny. Have you even had a girlfriend before?" That was the next to last question I wanted to her to ask me. This is probably the most humiliating part of my life. "No, no girl will give me the time of day, not even the ones with the face of a warthog" I was completely unprepared for what happend next. The girl that I had come to know to be the most gentle person in the world grabs me by the shirt collar and shoves her tounge down my throat. Needless to say, I had no clue what was happenning........but my member did, and he liked. He would say "fancy," but that's because he's a Limey. The girl's name is Lucy Pinder and she's about the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life. She's got these enormous - and I mean huge - knockers. But they're 100% real (seriously - look it up on Google) and she's also got an amazing figure and these eyes that drive me crazy, it's like you look at them and they say "relax, I'm going to take good care of you."Anyway, Lucy's got this thing where she doesn't show her nipples or any beaver. It's weird because she shows the entire rest of her boobs, just not the nipples. She also does some lesbian type photos with this other chick Michelle Marsh, who shows everything, but not Lucy. But I think that makes her hotter.Anyway, I showed the pictures to Shawn and he wasn't impressed because she didn't show anything. Whatever. Then he says to me "you know who that girl looks exactly like?" and I'm like "no" and he says "Your mom." Which is really fucked up. I mean, I guess he's right --.
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