Cathy deflected my pleas with a careless wave of herhand, dismissing my fears as inconsequential. I pressed on regardless,appealing the verdict in growing desperation. Again, I should have knownbetter. It was a doomed venture from the start."You're the one who wants to be a lingerie model," she said, effectivelyterminating any further discussion on the subject, "so here's your bigchance." Noooooooo!" I wailed as she led me to the center of the floor. Istumbled along behind her, blushing all the way to my eyebrows. Anurgent, feverish heat filled my tummy: this was really happening, shewas going to make me dance in my underwear before a houseful of completestrangers.I stared around the Parlour, heart thundering in my rib cage. The livingroom was a mass of babbling, wild-eyed housefraus. They were literallysquealing with delight, eyes shining with feral pleasure. This was oneshow they weren't going to miss. I felt surrounded, trapped, hemmed in."No, no, please no!" I cried, heart. I think that was the hardest part. Knowing that we could never wake her back up, and that she would never be with us again. The five of us would never crowd into one queen size bed again, all talking and laughing about something one of the guys said that was cute. We would never have five hands in the center of the circle to start the fun.She was gone.The priest was talking, but I wasn't listening. The nine of us all stood there, trying to hold ourselves together. It wasn't working to well. Jackie had tears streaming down her cheeks already, and the service had barely started. The church part had been hard, and we had cried there. Now we were standing in the cemetery. Where Kaitlin was going to be buried.I could hardly wrap my mind around it. My best friend in the world was going to be six feet under. Creed was wrong when they said, "I'm standing on the edge and I'm thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down" (One Last Breath, Weathered CD). You can't think that six feet isn't that.
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