Respect. Discretion. Cowardice. Yeah, probably cowardice.Marion was about fifteen years older than me at the time – she was just about fifty. I knew her from the local library where she worked. She was witty and intelligent and also quite religious.On occasions I would have a coffee with her and she would make me laugh with tales about the people who would come into the library. She also had some interesting theories and observations about life she would come up with and which made me think. One of her observations where that there were twelve basic types of face which transcended ethnicity - and I think she could have been right. Though I never conducted a scientific study I came across examples which fitted her theory in everyday life: a black girl who resembled a white girl I knew; a white guy who looked like Tiger Woods and a friend of mine, who was white, who kind of had Chinese features. Yeah, the theory definitely had legs.The irrational (irrational to me) side of her was her. I told him everything, everything but how I felt about other girls. It was the one secret I had never shared.I thought it might just be a phase I would grow out of, so I tried hard to put it out of my mind. I studied hard and went to church. Where incidentally, I listened to my dad preach about the evils of homosexuality. He would comment to Toby and me how ‘He was sure glad he had two wonderful children that hadn’t been corrupted by sin.Our church had something called the White Dove Society. On your sixteenth birthday, girls would say a pledge that denounced the use of alcohol and drugs, and we would swear to remain chaste until marriage. Finally, we would have to vow to fight against the evil demoralization of the world. Once a month, the White Doves would go and picket abortion clinics, protest against LGBTQ events, protest in front of the local strip club, or picket in front of a bar.“I won’t do it, daddy,” I told my dad.“What do you mean, you won’t do it?” he responded.“I won’t.
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