I give my name and tell them I’ll call back. The clerk informs me she has instructions to notify them as soon as I ring and to hold me on the line for however long it takes. I tell her I’m happy to sit by the phone. The clerk refuses, insisting she’s to keep me on the line. I tell her to tell me her life, especially her love life. She laughs, and tells me her name’s Helen. She begins talking about growing up and school in the islands. We reach high school when Mum arrives on the line, breathless, and tells me it’s a good run from the far end of the beach and Dad is still toddling along. I tell her the exercise will help him get fit. She agrees, after hearing about last night he has a strong interest in getting fit again. She asks how I am, and Dad comes on line asking if the heart attack was bad.I say, “I’m OK, I have a very good doctor and very cheap. I only had a minor stress induced angina attack. I’m not allowed to get worse, due to excellent medical care.”Dad says, “What caused. I think we can agree that they’ve picked on the wrong person.” She smiled and nodded.“I’m curious who they are and why pick on you out of a hall of willing slappers? I bet a whole bunch of them did stuff their old man wouldn’t have approved of and possibly a whole lot worse. Of course, you had to be the best one there, so there is that.”She smiled at that part, not so much my next bit, “What I would really like to do is find out who this ‘we’ is and slit their fucking throats. Which is why it’s best we get Diane and James round for lunch tomorrow to keep a level head on both of us.”“Right,” Tina was on a mission, “get up, we need to go shopping, I think a nice leg of lamb, I can make a chocolate mousse for pudding.” Then she stopped and looked at me, “What do we tell the girls?”“We tell them the truth, Diane and James are coming for lunch and we would like them to join us. Then we tell them all together, Claire with them gives us three legal minds; Chelle, you and me gives us three.
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