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I thought to myself, "Why did I dream of the other men and yet Jack was the only one I knew?" What does this mean? Why was everyone wearing a mask? Why didn't I ever take my mask off?"I thought about these questions as I lay in my bed. I thought about the parallels between my dream to my reality. I would never do any of those things. I wear this 'good girl' mask, always. I keep everyone at arm's length. My mom died when I was a young teenager, and my dad didn't know how to handle it. He turned to whiskey and left me to my own devices. I learned very quickly that guys don't care about you or your grief if they can get you into their bed. I've hidden behind this mask and these modest unbecoming clothes since I was sixteen. Now at twenty-five, I finally met someone who has made me want to show him the real me."Can I do this? Am I able to let this mask go and be who I really am? Will he see me as more than just a salesclerk?"I jumped out of my bed and went to my closet. Hidden in a box. By two o'clock in the afternoon I had a verbal agreement from Bob McClure that he would come work for me starting the first of the month. That would allow him to give two weeks notice at BDS. Bob also gave me the names of two other BDS techs that he was sure would be glad to jump ship and come work for me. I also managed to line up a former BDS employee in Kennesaw to work for us up there. By the end of the day I had lined up almost all of the skills we would need to deliver on the Clinton Products contract.That evening I was tempted to make love to Erica but I felt an uneasiness between us that prevented that from happening. The last few weeks had taken an emotional toll on us and it was going to take some time for us to get back to where we were before Bill Nelson entered my life.Thursday I spent most of the day on the phone with Jeff and Don talking about our plan of action. Jeff had managed to find a couple of BDS retirees that were willing to come work for us part time, which.
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