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I didn't even remember giving her my number, though she knew roughly where I lived, and there weren't that many J. Gaskells in the London Phone directory, especially in Gloucester Terrace NW1."I've been thinking, how would you like spend Christmas here, with me at Keepers? Just for a few days." She qualified, her voice uncharacteristically soft, but this was the Margaret who had rescued me twice now, thrice if you included my first visit.I agreed at once and felt a happiness that swept away the doubts ruminations and agonizing that had obsessed me since I came back to town on Sunday night. I'd had to at long last admit that by slow degrees, and even with some reluctance, I was falling in love with Margaret. But, my dilemma was that by loving her I would be betraying Sarah, and my memory of her as the one true and pure love of my life. I had to think this through properly, so I put the two women side-by-side in my head, and I found that I was glancing back to Sarah, but reaching out. I don't even know if I'm the only one you're seeing."I release a sigh of relief at what seems to be a simple misunderstanding. "I promise that I'm only with you, Louise. You're the first woman that I've ever had feelings for, and I want this to work out between us." So, none of your ex's were important to you? Not even your first?"Shit! Why are we talking about Ashleigh?"I was too immature for a relationship when I met her. We were both too young, and it's hard to believe, but I was a bigger idiot at sixteen than I am now." Why? What happened between you?"Oddly, feeling calmed by getting this off my chest for the first time, I stroke Louise's hair as she listens to me. "Regrettably, I wasn't the nicest person I could have been, and I wronged her by opening my mouth without thinking." It might not be too late to apologise?" It's definitely too late, but I just want you to know that I won't treat you that way," I reply before kissing the back of her head. "So, how do you feel about.
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