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She grabbed herself a beer and plopped on the couch next to Anthony.“Hope I’m not spoiling your good time,” she said, cracking her beer open and not really waiting for a protest. None was coming anyway. “There’s only so many times you can scroll through facebook before you want to gnaw your hand off.”“No worries, Anthony was just going through his exes and ranking them.” Anthony shot Derek a disapproving look.“That’s not even true, but if it were you’d of course be number one,” he said to his coyly smiling wife.“So if you had just been ranking your exes I would be one of them? Maybe you’re right.” Everyone was quiet for a second and then Derek and Amber burst out laughing. Even Anthony couldn’t help himself and he chucked a little.“And besides, I think I’ve heard most of them anyway. He’s a loose cannon when he’s drunk.”“No way,” said Derek. “He told you about the time he jumped out a window when a girl’s parents got home?”“Come on man, that’s first date material,” Anthony. That's true for both sexes. Double standards are stupid, though even I've been guilty of them now and then."My main failing is a suspicious and mistrustful nature. I see a lot of women who cheat on guys and then get all outraged when the man gets some of his own. There's a lot of that 'two wrongs don't make a right' platitude coming out of their mouths in a hurry. I have a different cliché that makes sense to me, namely, 'Turnabout's fair play.' This makes me a little jaded about women, I suppose."I believe in fairness, especially in a world that isn't fair. That one always gets me, because it's used as an excuse or a way to convince someone to put up with injustice. It's bullshit, as are many truisms trotted out whenever people find them useful or just want to sound deep. Most folks wouldn't know profundity if it bit 'em on the ass."Some of the parents I dealt with in the PTA meetings were real buffoons. Then again, so were most of my colleagues. It was just a job to them. There.
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