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‘My mother died this afternoon,’ I blurted out. ‘Oh I am sorry, I didn’t mean any offense’ her tone changing, ‘my condolences to you and your family.’ ‘Yeah’ was all I could say. We drove along in silence for a few miles when she asked me, ‘Are you married, is there some lucky woman that’s benefiting from what your mother taught and I am not being a smartass I really want to know?’ ‘No, I am not married. I have been involved in some long term relationships, but right now I am alone.’ ‘Your lucky’ she said under her breathe. ‘I heard you , why do you say that?’ ‘It just hard being in a relationship sometimes there are so many compromises, so many ways you have to accommodate the person you are with. I wish I could just be myself for awhile, I want to be me for just a little bit,’ then as she realized she has given too much away about herself, she just stopped talking. ‘You know in a real relationship you do not change who you are, your partner complements who your are, both your. This was soft and languid, a mutual gift. It seemed a bit like a warm bath or a long hug, but with orgasming.After Kate's leg healed we tried fucking again. It was okay, don't get me wrong, but as usual I came too early, clenching my eyes shut in a mixture of euphoria and embarrassment. Kate said nothing, just frantically frigged herself to a belated climax. Even after a long absence, it still felt unsatisfying. I had thought that as the months marched on and we got used to each other it would get better, but all that happened was that we lost the electric energy that comes with a new relationship.There was a silent agreement after that to return to our sabbatical. It was a weird return to high school fumbling with girls who wouldn't let you go all the way, or with boys who wouldn't leave unsatisfied. Kate said that it reminded her of sex with Annie, which I didn't know how to feel about. At my confused expression she laughed and patted my elbow, telling me not to worry.Tonight when.
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