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By the next morning I'd changed my mind. It was my fault; I was totally to blame. At work I thought my coworkers looked at me accusingly and that the customers who usually came to my window were avoiding me. I felt I was becoming an outcast.On Monday evening there was a newsflash on TV about forest fires on the west coast, but I did not hear the exact location. On the late news I saw planes dropping water and also watched men on the ground struggling to control the fires. The location sounded like the fires were near Danny's camp and it was scary to think of him, exhausted and in danger, working nearly around the clock with the rest of the crew in an attempt to forestall the spread of the fire. Again, there was no letter from him.That night I dreamed Danny had been injured. He was sitting up in the hospital bed, his hands were bandaged and he was listening to a nurse read my letter to him. The nurse was very beautiful and had an accent, making the words in the letter sound nothing. In spite of that, we had fallen in love and had two great kids who were now out on their own in college. Over the years I had discovered that I had urges to do things sexually but with the repression my mother had drilled into me, I never could go very far. There had been times that I wanted nothing more than to take Jim’s penis between my lips and swallow his whole shaft as far as I could. To taste his juice as it shot out of the end and even have him shoot it all over my body. I could tell that it was hot when it came out, and from time to time when I would lick him down there, I could get a little taste of his sperm. I had found that I really liked that taste. But, with the ‘training’ my mother had put me through, I could never bring myself to go very far at all orally or for that matter, any other way. Once, Jim had almost shot off in my mouth when I had been licking him. I had actually put the head of his penis just inside my lips when it happened. I feigned anger and got out of.
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