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I wouldn’t be shocked if everyone in the neighborhood heard her. Dad stood his ground and refused to go anywhere. "I'm not going anywhere. I pay the damn bills in this house. You can get the fuck out, but I'm not moving," he said firmly. Mom looked at me and told me to come with her. She called Uncle Paul and asked him to pick us up. I was sad, scared, nervous, anxious, and a number of other feelings all at the same time. I didn't know what was going to happy to our family. Uncle Paul was able to pick us up within ten minutes, since he didn’t live too far. He stayed in Northwest DC, near Howard University. On the way to his house mama told him everything. Uncle Paul said not to worry, and that we could stay at his house for as long as we needed to do so. I was still in shock about dad turning so violent, especially since he was the one who had a woman in the house. He had never hit me, or even raised his voice at me before. As far as I know, he had never hit Mom either. I only know. Well, not exactly the same, but with some variation. I explained to Diane right before all these changes started that I thought of myself as a male lesbian. I told her that I knew I hadn't been the best of lovers before. But as a girl, I was sure I could please her and satisfy all of her needs. She listened patiently and waited until I was done. She told me it was okay, what I was feeling, and really quite flattering. She said, however, that I was just being silly. There was no such thing as a male lesbian. Furthermore, she wondered why I had ever thought she'd be interested in lesbian sex. She had experimented a few times, sure, but she wasn't a lesbian and wasn't interested in women for sex. ?Sweetheart,? Diane said, ?a man who wants to be a girl is not a lesbian. He is something else, surely, something different and precious, but not a lesbian.? It's true, I was hurt at first by what she said, but I guess I was being unrealistic. I was still holding onto a lot of silly "guy" ideas.
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