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......Yet she also saw me living with the guilt,a shameful secret I had very rarely shared; a whole host of negativeemotions that led to purging clothes, hating myself, struggling to findwho I was.One day, after I got frustrated about a particular item of underwear andhow ridiculous I must look, she suggested I try something. I thought itwas ridiculous, but came to understand that it was something deeplypersonal, feminine, and something most women do many times through theirlives. After a lot of contemplation and fear, I decided to try and didn'trealise how much this day would help me embrace the idea of being across-dresser.When I returned home from that day, many years ago, I wrote about myexperience. It's a little different from my previous stories, but I hopeyou don't mind me sharing this true account of what happened and what itmeant to me.THIS IS MEAfter days thinking about it, after hours and hours wondering who Ishould contact, after an aborted call or two because I sensed the. “Um, that was –“ I start“Amazing,” he finishes.“Yes,” I laugh back turning onto my side to face him. “I am going to go and freshen up.” In the bathroom I wet a face cloth and wash my face and body before trying to tame my tangled hair. I sigh, gripping the sink and stare at myself in the mirror. “It doesn’t mean anything, Mya, it’s only one night,” I tell myself, trying to suppress any emotions I once had for Tom from resurfacing. I return to the bedroom and Tom is sitting under the bed sheets, two glasses of water and a plate of cheese and crackers on the table beside him and an oversized shirt for me lying neatly on the bed. “I remembered that we didn’t get around to dinner,” he said cheerfully, nodding at the plate of food. I smile back, pull the shirt over my head, to Tom’s exaggerated disappointment, and seize several crackers from the plate, suddenly realising how hungry I am. Tom stares at me smiling until I ask him what is on his mind.“I’m just happy,” he replies, shaking his.
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