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I never worked up the ire to tell her that I liked her that way,even though we were friendly acquaintences, but I found that I had twoentirely different fantasies. The first was the normal one that I supposehas been implanted into my mind by society, the one where she and I datelike a normal middle-school couple. The other, though, was a fantasy inwhich I WAS her. I had no idea why I would think up such an odd idea, soI'd try my best to put it off.As for my never actually asking her out, I've always had a bit of aproblem in that area. I find that while I'm socially outgoing, I'm verytimid when it comes to these things.By the time I made it to high school, I had moved back into the publicsystem.In any case, I noticed while going through puberty two things. First off,I was straight, as mentioned before. Second, I envied the girls as much asI liked them. I didn't know why this was, and given my strong religiousupbringing, I was somewhat disgusted with myself for it. I just couldn'tshake. My body was taken by a demon, my lover, my King… Asmodeus. Suddenly everything comes flooding back. It wasnt a dream, last night was real. I clasp my hands onto his injured arm, wiping away the blood from the wound I created and lean down to kiss it. Asmodeus, I beg, speaking into his arm, forgive me. I ask this not because Im afraid of him but because I am genuinely mortified that I hurt him and worse, that I forgot him, if only for a moment. He stops stroking my hair and slips his arm under my body. Shifting his other arm lower, he hooks it behind my knees and pulls me toward him, cradling me like a baby. I lay my head in his chest, filled with shame, my tears leaking onto his bare torso. He releases my legs but brings his own thigh up to support me so that I am still curled up and close to him. Cupping my face with his free left hand, he turns it toward his and captures my mouth in a sweet kiss. His hand drops away from my face and slides smoothly along my body, stopping at my.
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