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The sun was hanging low in the sky by the time we made it back to the cabin, which put a damper on our excitement. We were late getting back, and knew it would be a lot later before we got out of there, with at least a 2 hour drive ahead of us before we got home.Turns out things weren't all that bad. Aunt Marie and Mom had finished up most of the packing and a stupidly large pile of gear was stacked in the car-port, ready for loading. We backed the Jeep in and found the sisters parked on the front porch, beers in hand.Colin ran over, still completely stoked over his first hunting trip, but before we were 10 seconds into our story we were cut off.Mom was holding her nose, and pointing to the lake. "Go! In the lake, clothes and all. Now!"Aunt Marie was no better. "Lord, y'all stink! You're filthier than those pigs you claimed to be hunting. Harold, I gave you my handsome boy and you returned this?"Dad laughed. "This young MAN shot a 200 lb boar with 5 inch tusks that could tear you wide. You’ve turned into a lazy fat fuck is what I can make of it, and wherever you go, you’ll either be laughed at or ignored by the women unless you make a commitment to exercising and eating right. Fat people are on the lowest level of society these days, my man. They never get any pussy, and their denied jobs, nice places to live, all because they want to eat their Kentucky Fried Chicken and their Taco Bell, their Big Macs that have enough fat in them to feed half of Africa for a year. Fat people can’t fit in airplane seats, they can’t squeeze into movie theater seats, and they never can wear nice clothes, because none of them fit. A lot of fat people turn into serial killers or rapists, and they only get it into their heads that they have to stop eating when they’re locked up for life for molesting five year-old girls, most likely members of their own families. Do you get where I’m coming from? Is that what you want, Charlie? To never show your face at a beach or a pool unless you’re.
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