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That's the thing that's been tearing at me in the job; so many of the deaths were from drunk drivers, or kids too young to be driving with friends, or even babies who died from some home accident. It's not only that the two of you are offering me the chance to lose myself, sensually, with people I like -- and you, Dolores, might even love -- but you're offering me a chance to do something meaningful that won't hit at me day by day by day in the same way. Sure, I know debriefing will be hard -- but it won't be all the time.I thought about something that often comforts me:Often, there is no "right answer;" doctors and nurses can only learn to accept the inevitable uncertainty, self-questioning, guilt, and feelings of helplessness that cases such as these" inflict" upon the care-giver—the "wounds" of practicing medicine. At the end the author says: "Now I'm no longer afraid of being hurt." He doesn't say "Now, I can no longer be hurt."Jordan Grumet"Today, it wasn't enough. To be utterly. I was pretty freaked out back then, all the body changing and all; does anyone else know any guys who can change into anyone they know? I didn’t think so. Looking back, I missed so many opportunities to wreak havoc and have fun… wasted times. The first time something happened, sometime after my 16th birthday, I was at one of those popular kids’ parties, you know, the type that all the cool kids get invited too. I really don’t know how I came to be there, luck of the draw I guessed. I was sitting on a couch, sulking around (I wasn’t really a party animal, I preferred the movies over clubbing) when I saw Trisha, the hottest Eurasian chick in the school, move onto the dance floor. She was amazing, like one of those super models that you see on soap operas now days, I couldn’t stop watching. I ran outside into the garden, just to get some air and to clear my nerves from her heavenly image when my body started tingling all over. I thought it might have been the single beer I had, but alas.
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