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” “I heard you. Well, funny you should ask!” replied Hugh. “I have a huge hankerin’ for some more teabaggin’.” “I‘m glad you called. You are full of romance and a tea bagger to boot!” replied Leslie. “Cool beans!“ replied Hugh as he hung up the phone and walked into the full service grocery store. “May I help you?” asked the clerk with a nametag on that said “Phil”. “Yes” answered Hugh, “I need some toilet paper for my anus.” “Ok,” replied Phil, “What kind of anus are we talkin’ here?” “Well, it’s a 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and one thirty second native American anus.” “Oh, interesting” said Phil. “Is this a huge anus we’re talking about here?” “Well I’m Hugh Jainus,” replied a slightly flustered Hugh Jainus. “But I don’t have a huge anus. It’s just average.” “Well then, I suggest a aloe lotion three ply all natural recycled unscented roll for you average sized 1983. There were too many back roads in the area, and the Medusa knew staying on the main road was too dangerous. As the hours ticked by it became apparent their target had gotten away. Before sunrise the military was already starting to pull out. By this time the starship had dissolved into a pile of ashes that were quickly swept up by the scientists for study."How long have we got?" General Grim asked."It'll take a few sexual encounters for the Medusa to get everything just right," Dennis explained. "The new womb will have to be modified to support its slugs. Say 12 hours on the inside, 24 on the out. After that it'll take 48 hours for the slugs to mature. There are usually about 100 slugs in each birth. The Medusa won't be choosy at first. Anyone who is big and it feels can protect it will do. After the birth its mate will have to rest at least 24 hours before she can get pregnant again...then the process will repeat itself." Damn!" the general cursed. "We have to stop it before that.
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