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I thought very hard and finally said ‘I have no idea either dad. She never said anything to me about leaving or being sad or anything. I don’t know why she would do this to you. No idea at all.’ ‘Are you very sure? Nothing you want to tell me?’ ‘Nothing dad. Honest! I didn’t know she was going to leave us.’ My father looked back at me, an expression on his face that I never would understand. He seemed sad, but there was also a deep seated anger that burned just below the surface. I assumed it was for mom’s actions and I felt I understood. How wrong I was. We never talked about mom after that. Dad put her out of his mind at least around me, but I watched him and saw the toll it took on him. He began to run down, as if he had nothing left to live for. Her cheating was one thing, but to leave him the way she did showed me she was a coward and a cold-hearted bitch. Nothing I didn’t already know about her. I thought to myself that it was better for him that she was gone. I believed that.. There were things Roger needed from me and I was like this little high school bitch who kept saying No. I was like stuck on wanting to be the one who decided everything for us.’ ‘Well, what things?’ ‘Not blowjobs, I can tell you that. Roger loves the way I suck him off.’ ‘Then what?’ ‘I already explained this. Everything really. Not just sex although I guess that was some of it. It might have been whether we would go to a certain place for dinner or it might have been him wanting to make love when I didn’t. It was just selfishness.’ ‘And John helped?’ ‘Yeah. We just talked and he explained how I could look at things from Roger’s point of view to make the relationship better for both of us.’ ‘And it worked?’ ‘Do I seem different to you?’ ‘Yeah, you do.’ I had to admit that in the last 2 months since Cindy told me she was seeing a therapist she had changed. Even around me and our girlfriends she was easier-going, less demanding and less sarcastic than she used to be. She seemed more.
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