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But by Christmas, I had gone from being terrified of girls to living the cliché as the official “sexually non-threatening platonic guy friend” of the five hottest chicks in school.As nice as it was to have popular friends and beautiful women to look at all day long, I was also anguishing in a special circle of Hell, where my penis and I were at a constant state of war with each other. The argument went something like this:MY PENIS: “Fuck her! She’s hot!”THE REST OF ME: “No, we’re friends, it’d be weird…”PENIS: “But… tits!”Needless to say, it was a confusing time for me.It all started with Corrine, a bodacious blonde who was clearly destined for the Playboy centerfold. For a late-blooming nerd like me, she was also the most intimidating person on the planet. Every detail about her seemed specifically designed to twist my tongue into knots. First off, she was the tallest girl in school. I was 5’11” and she had maybe half an inch on me (Corrine liked to joke that this was due to her. ”The girl gave the older woman one last smile, then hurried off to take care of her duties.And of those guests Jacqueline mentioned, there appeared to be many. Scattered across the open rooms of the first floor, Madeline estimated were over a hundred people. Given the size of the nineteenth century house, that number could easily triple. Even more remarkable was that they were all women.Women of every possible size and shape, ranging in age from their early twenties to even a few in their late seventies. Many of them were in military uniforms, something not really uncommon in wartime London, but interesting nevertheless.“What does the plaque outside mean?” Madeline asked as she remembered wondering about it.“Well the club had to be called something,” Jacqueline said as she searched the crowds as they passed through several rooms. “And something not too obvious. It was originally called something else, but they changed it to Lady Jane’s a few decades ago.”“Who was Lady Jane?” Madeline.
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