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A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’????So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!’“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck!?? Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”“Not everybody pays.”A couple more from Andy KDid you know fleas hate winter? As a matter of fact, quite a few of them spend the cold months on the beaches of Florida.This is about two such sun fleas (like migratory human sun birds): Sam and Jack.Anyway, Sam is catching some rays on the beach in Florida when Jack staggers up and plops down next to him.Sam started the conversation. “Jack, what happened? You look like something a dog chewed off.”“Well,. I submitted the form, andthat was that. I was unceremoniously forever altered in the public eye.With that final, crushing blow, Nick was gone forever.My profile picture had never been myself. It had alternated betweenmovie characters, memes, cartoons, video games, and that sort of thing,so I didn't have to change that right away. The nice thing was thatthere was no mass notification, I was just going to be listed with a newname from here on out.I was done with the internet for the moment. It was time to game.Video games were my true passion, I'd played games of some sort almostevery day of my life from the time I was 5 until now. I'd refined myskills, and I could theorycraft in Roleplaying games, micromanage instrategies, and had lightning reflexes for even the twitchiest shooters.I fired up Portal, it was older but still one of my favorite games.Soon, I discovered that my reflexes were going to be anything butlightning. Losing your muscle memory is a difficult thing to.
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