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And never, not once, had she expressed the least hint of regret, sorrow, or compassion. Nothing else mattered. Carol didn't love him any more. Being left to die with a bullet in his belly would have hurt him less. He tried to kill himself four times, and almost a fifth. He cut his wrists, but couldn't dig deep enough with the dull knife he had; he drove his car into a bridge abutment, but had forgotten to unfasten his seat belt and walked away with only bruises--and without a car. He got drunk and took a bottleful of sleeping pills, but they were over-the-counter pills and he woke up the next day with only a headache and a stomach that could hold nothing down for a few days. He had gotten a summer job and rented a small apartment for the summer, to be near Carol and where he had hoped they would make love and laugh and enjoy each other in privacy and comfort. She never saw it, and he sat there alone and dreamed of her arms and sweet death and an end to the agony of living another day. But the most significant — and I really prefer not to advertise this — is that there are probably no courses in the junior high or high school that would be of any interest to me." Son, I know you are ahead on math, but they have things like Calculus I and II, Advanced Chemistry, Honors History..." Alex's father began."Dad, you know I spend quite a bit of time in the college library. I am reading graduate course material for math, several sciences, electrical engineering, psychology, philosophy, anthropology and linguistics. In a year, I think I could take Ph. D. qualifying exams in several programs."There was a stunned silence for a minute. Alex's parents had been almost deliberately ignorant of his studies. It had been clear after the operation that Alex was more than just an outstanding student. He seemed to study well on his own, and the Driscolls were almost scared of his pace. In addition, they had a nagging guilt that they should have been doing something extraordinary to.
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