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I flew home on an early Saturday afternoon flight and retrieved Daiquiri my cat from the neighbors. Entering my home at 8:50 I was overwhelmed. It was New Years Eve and I was alone for New Years Eve for the first time in my life. I hated the feeling. As I consumed a bottle of Chardonnay and cheese I took stock of my life. I need a man to love and who would love me tenderly. I needed a man who was not like Wyatt and his friends. My scientific nature told me to be methodical, not rush it and to lay out in my mind what characteristics I sought in a man. Two nagging thoughts haunted me as the magic moment of transitioning from one year to another approached. I know such a man, a man who was more like my father and brother in many ways. And he matched many of what was on my mind’s list. I had some affection for him. He comforts, affirms and encourages. He makes me feel good about myself. We had similar broad interests. He hates city life and prefers small towns just like me. Yet, I was. ‘Don’t withdraw…don’t leave me…’ Even though he had finished his ejaculation he continued to move in me as if he understood my need and was determined to satisfy me. As my orgasm diminished in its intensity he began to speak. ‘That was fantastic…wonderful…I’ve never…it was out of this world.’ I silently agreed with him, but with the temporary cooling of my lust some degree of rationality returned. What had I done? How had I allowed myself to virtually seduce this boy? Suppose Ben ever found out, would he allow me the same sexual latitude he expected for himself? I conjectured not. He was too much the business man, the buyer and seller. He had bought me and I was as much one of his possessions as anything else in his life. He might not want to copulate with me, but he certainly wouldn’t accept my copulating with anyone else. I was like an expensive picture hung on the wall that once he had got it, he never bothered to look at it. It was there to satisfy his ego and to be admired and.
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