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I cough and choke, vomiting up sea water, which I have swallowed whilst submerged. Eventually I find the strength to pull myself to me feet, and begin to slowly pick my way across the rocks, trying to get back to the beach. It seems to take forever. I feel so exposed and cold. Then, finally, exhausted and frightened, I get to the beach, and collapse on the sand. I can see that people are all along the beach, and some have noticed me sat on the sand, with nothing on. I realise I am going to have to walk all the way back along the beach to where I had left my belongings on my beach towel. Amazingly, the storm has cleared, and the sun comes out from behind the clouds, as it moves inland. I get to my feet and begin walking, totally naked, past all the people on the beach. The thought of people seeing me naked is terrifying to me. I have never been naked in front of people before (I don’t count my parents of course). I have a real fear of people seeing me naked, and now I have to face. One time we were at my house and she said we were getting married. I remember telling her as long as we didn’t do the yucky stuff like kissing. My mom laughed and asked us, ‘Are you going to have children?’ Sharon said we were going to have two kids. I looked at her and said we were going to have three, I had to one-up her. She responded with, ‘Ok, you have three and I’ll have two.’ That’s the way it was with Sharon and I, we were always able to work things out. When we were eleven, Sharon came over and said they were moving to the suburbs. Her Dad got a promotion, and they would be moving before school started back up. I was devastated, my best friend was moving away. I remember the day they left. I hugged Sharon and we both cried. My Dad told me men don’t cry, and I ran in the house. My Mom felt sorry for me and said maybe someday we could visit the Buckley’s, but it never happened. Life for me after that day seemed different. I can’t put a finger on it, but it was as if I had lost.
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