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.. you got upset, obviously, and if I didn't change my mind, you left. Left the Wardens, abdicated your throne ... left me. You refused to fight the Archdemon, and ended up a drunk in Kirkwall, living on charity from Teagan and trying hard to kill yourself with alcohol poisoning. You didn't even look back as you walked away, even if we loved each other." I just assumed you were betraying me," he stated. I nodded, sniffling. "Like I did, here, only sooner. And for an even stupider reason."A tear dribbled down my cheek. I remembered the pain of that betrayal the first time I'd played it in game. It had hurt, even as I knew it was ridiculous to be so affected by a fictional character. I'd had to save the game and go cry, like I was now. But it was nothing next to knowing what it actually felt like, watching Alistair walk away from me. I turned away from Alistair, embarrassed to be seen so emotional over what he would assume was a stupid game.I should have known better; I felt his hand on. Afraid . . . I guess.” “What are you afraid of?” “I honestly don’t know.” “Yes, you do. Tell me.” There is something pushy and controlling in the way she tells me this, and I don’t like it. I take a gulp of Chardonnay, wipe my mouth with a napkin and say: “I’m afraid of rejection. And I’m terrified of becoming a failure. My father expects me to succeed at all cost. He says he knows my full potential, but I’m not sure I believe him.” I put my face in my hands and let it all sink in. I hadn’t confessed this to anyone until now. I feel strange about having made this confession to someone I barely know. Amanda is silent. I say, “I have connections. I know someone who writes for the New York Observer. And I know that all I have to do is write an article and have it published. Become a freelancer or something. But I’m terrified of the outcome.” There’s an awkward pause. “Well,” Amanda ventures, “I know that most journalists start out as freelancers and make a lot of money that way. It.
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