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The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when Chuck Norris gets tired of Whiskey or steel wool, he’ll eat bread, cheese, tomato paste and a handful of basil, which sounds like a pizza but it’s not because Chuck Norris doesn’t want to give the Italian’s credit.Chuck Norris EncountersOne time for Halloween I was trick or treating and I dressed up like a pussy because you are supposed to dress up in something you are not. I also figured that Chuck Norris would appreciate ironic humor.When I arrived at Chuck’s house it was a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it. I walked up the long staircase which seem like it took days. I knock on his door and the door automatically open up, there was Chuck Norris sitting on his. 2 weeks ago I was Jason all state quarterback extremely fit and good looking the most sought aftet guy of any girl in high school. However i just so happened to be going steady with Tiffany a beautiful girl not a cheerleader but actually extremely smart and i really wanted to have a future with her k**s white fence big house everything shes perfect. After a huge win that brought us a game away from the state championship the team had a huge party there was drinking and Tiffany caught me in a threeway in one of the guest rooms. As soon as I realized what I had done I knew I didnt want to lose Tiffany I called her nonstop tried to talk to her over and over, finally i gave except Tiffany didnt. Tiffany sent me a letter I was absolutely sertain it was a break up letter it was not instead she did not call me a name no swear words just one simple question:dear jason, if you want me back do EXACTLY as I say what you did was inexcusable and has made me a laughingstock at school they are.
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