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And I sawit. Well, not saw. But in my mind's eye it was remarkably clear, ifconfusing. There was some kind of alien thing ... like a cross between awhale and a squid and something out of Lovecraft. And it was stranded,trapped on some kind of reef, or bramble patch, or maybe a mathematicalabstraction of the underlying laws of our universe. Its mind reached abit to mine and it tried to talk, but we had no words in common, barelyeven any concepts. It was like telepathy in a foreign language. Butsome of the emotions got through. It was scared, and hurt, and not fullyan adult, and innocent. It meant me and my world no harm. It had beenexploring and something went wrong, and now it just wanted to go back.So I tried to help. I used, well, the magical equivalents of my hands, Isuppose, my will or power, I guess, to poke and prod it off the things itwas stuck on. I didn't really know what I was doing, or understand itsanatomy. I'm sure I hurt it some in the process of trying to. “‘To jerk off’?” “No, neither. But want is ‘to wank’? You didn’t tell me.” “Oh, they have the same meaning, they’re synonyms. They mean to, you know, to masturbate.” “Oh, right.” By that time, I had started to find the monosyllabic and repetitive nature of Arsenio’s conversational skills a tad tedious. I wanted to say something caustic like “Yes – oh – right – yes – indeed”. “You do that?” He suddenly asked. I turned my head to him and calmly nodded a few times. “Yep, Arsenio, I masturbate. I’m not addicted to it, of course… though I guess even those who are addicted would say they aren’t. I’m really not. But well, I’m a sexual being, I like sex in many different forms, whether it’s real or just in my head. Or, sometimes, when I can’t concentrate on my work, I do it, too. It helps, seriously, it does – you really calm down after you’ve done it. And it also improves your mood.” “It improves my mood?” “Yep. Makes you more cheerful. So, if you know somebody who’s always in a good mood,.
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