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I hadn’t seen them in nearly six years. She and my father had been planning this trip for the holidays since June. Frankly, I didn’t understand why anyone would want to go to the god-forsaken cold of Ohio in December when they could all come down here to Florida and stay with us. The whole white Christmas thing didn’t register very high on my must-do list.Mom hung up the phone and absolutely beamed with joy. “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you…. Which you wanna hear?” She asked me.I shrugged my shoulders and grunted in a way only a teenager can. “I don’t care, whatever.”“The good news is they got nearly a foot of snow yesterday!” She paused and looked at me. “That’s the good news?”“Yep! It will be so great. family, snow, sledding! All of it.” She gave me a look that mothers are so good at giving, making me feel like an infant. “Awwww, you can even make snow-angles with your cousins!” She reached out and plucked at my cheek. “That will be so. "But true love is stronger than jealousy. Once he realizes how his wimpy little penis could never make you happy all by itself, he'll be begging you to find other men to give you what you need." He will?" I giggled at that."Absolutely," Mom smiled at me. "So you keep your eyes open for a boy you might like, because Friday night is your first date with Henry." Yeah," I nodded, because I knew some boys I already liked just fine."Make sure they're big though," Mom reminded me. "A girl has to have standards." Seven inches," I nodded and I'd never forgotten about that."At least seven. That's the bare minimum if he's really handsome." If he's only sorta handsome..." Eight inches." Mom wrinkled her nose at me. "And we don't have fun with boys who aren't handsome, right?" Right!" I giggled."Unless he's ten inches." She laughed. "Then you just put a bag over his head and slap him silly for being so ugly." Mom!" I laughed too and sometimes it was hard to tell when she was serious."Well..." She.
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