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" I thought it was automatic?" Jimmy asked."It is. But sometimes it slips a sprocket and shuts off. This is one of the most important scenes and I don't want to take any chances!" Ed liked smoothly. You'll do what I tell you, Jimmy, and no arguments! his mind said silently. "Come on, I'll show you how this thing operates."Sandy watched as Ed positioned Jimmy and Lucy behind the camera and showed them how to operate it. She knew that this would be the last chance for her to leave, and she tried to force herself to get up. Her body refused to obey her mind's instructions. She was unable to control the thoughts that raced through her brain as it swung wildly between revulsion and fascination at what she was about to do. She could see the faces of her disapproving parents, pleading with her to leave while she had the chance. Then, suddenly and inexplicably, she became perfectly calm, and she knew that she would go through with it. She heard the sound of the camera running and,. ? Forthe moment, my revere of her was broken and reality returned full force.? Defiancewelled up inside of me.? There are twoforms of survival in life.? There is thesurvival of your physical body, which demands a great deal.? But there is also the survival of yourconcept of the self.? Sometimes, thesurvival of the self requires that a person sacrifice their body to maintainthat identity.? But that sacrifice of thebody requires a great deal of strength.?It was not a part of my identity to beg to be raped by a woman I hadonly just met, or by any woman.? I wouldmuster the strength to sacrifice myself up for punishment to maintain thatidentity.? Perhaps she would put thatthing inside me, but it would not be at my request.?No, bitch,? I murmured with a horse throat, thinkingperhaps the bitch part was a bit over the top.She simply sighed.?Her stroking of my scrotum continued for a minute more.? I almost imagined that she was sad; perhapsshe had some emotion after all.? Perhapsthis was some.
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