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The place is full of beautiful people. You and your buddies buy a round of drinks and start working your way out to the dance floor. It isn’t long before you feel someone’s ass grinding against your back. Hoping it’s not some dude, you turn around and notice a little brunette facing away from you, dancing as her friends giggle. She’s wearing a sparkly silver minidress and has her long hair pulled up and pinned behind her neck, leaving a couple locks framing her face. ‘This should be fun,’ you think to yourself as you put your hand on her hip without saying a word. The girl plays along, her butt pushing against you as you both move to the music. You lean your head over her shoulder and see a cute girl with a round face, full lips and a toothy grin. You‘re instantly hit with the idea that you know her, but you don‘t know from where. “Bon soir,” you say in her ear as you assume she must be a French speaker. “Hello,” she says in a Southern twang. ‘That’s it! It’s Miley Cyrus!’ you think. "No, no. Not gay. Just ... not interested. Little too loud over there. Flirtation a little too impersonal. It's quieter over here. Better chance of meeting somebody who doesn't want to get into my pants just because of my hardware." Hardware?" she asked curiously.I shook my head. "Nevermind." While I recognized the world-famous tennis player, I was pretty sure she didn't recognize me. Swimming is a pretty obscure sport for facial recognition without the cap and goggles, and I'd run into more than a few Olympians who didn't know I was even a swimmer, let alone that I'd won an event.At first, Karolina looked like she was going to press me about my "hardware", but the bartender returned with two 007 martinis, setting down one each in front of us.I fished out my credit card and handed it over, saying, "The lady's drink is on me." That's not necessary."I shrugged. "It's the gentlemanly thing to do." Depends on the gentleman's intentions. Usually, a man buys a drink for a woman to put her.
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