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He knew he was close to the end and wanted to bequeath his film crew to me, to carry on his work. Interviewer: And you will? DG: Yes. I already have a directing job lined up on Clint’s recommendation. Interviewer: It was you who gave the eulogy at his funeral too. DG: (Shrugs.) It was in his will, but I wanted to do it anyway. He brought so much out of me, things I didn’t know I could do. Speaking at his funeral hardly made up for that, but it was the only way I had to thank him. *** I wasn’t comfortable with making a public speech, but it was for Clint and in a way for Karen and was something I was going to have to get used to. I cleared my throat. ‘We all knew Clint in different ways, but he was in essence a wonderfully simple man. He liked who he liked and wasn’t worried by who he disliked. I was lucky I suppose, in that he liked me from the moment we met. Looking back, I suppose it was because I was new to the business of film-making, I had a different, and to him interesting,. She said something really loud. I about came unglued and said “DON’T DO THAT!”. I startled everyone including myself as it jumped right out of my mouth. I apologized and explained my situation. So it looks like I get to carry my sensory equipment everywhere now.An unexpected thing is that during an anxiety episode heavy metal or tribal music is soothing in an unusual way. When I say heavy metal I mean death metal, the fringe type of metal. Hardcore heavy metal. What is unexpected about it is at any other time I can’t stand the sound of it. During an anxiety attack it is as though a part of my mind is racing like an engine without a gear engaged. When I hear that music the racing engine engages it and quits bothering me. I can do what I need to do thinking wise. The anxiety is still doing it’s thing, but it’s mostly doing it with the music. I think it’s a form of entrainment process. It’s the rhythm that gets my mind’s attention. I would love to have an EEG run while doing this but me.
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