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He had no answer other than to feign outrage, behave arrogantly, lie, and deny – behavior absolutely typical of white men when they are wrong. Learning that expensive lesson humbled him. He recognized how fucked up he was to profess love and worship of Black men in private, to crave denigration and humiliation from men of African descent sexually and then pretend he was superior in public.Our virtual relationship started out slow. At first, he provided me with tributes. He did so willingly and of his own free will, with absolutely no coercion or pressure on my part. I think that's what made him stand out from all the rest of the subs who said they desired my attention. I'm not a financial Domme and I don't solicit, demand, or require tributes in any form from subs. So when he voluntarily provided the funds for me to get a brand new laptop, without strings or attempts to manipulate me to dominate him, I found favor in him. It was a thoughtful gesture that made me happy and, in turn,. He stared at one of his prized impressionist paintings, a still-life, a basket of fruit next to a vase full of violets. He had purchased the painting from a young artist about whom many knew little. He admired its careless, thick brush strokes. He had worked hard to acquire it. He paid top dollar. This painting tried hard to remain within some established form and structure, yet conveyed confusion and uncertainty. He needed to tell Alan so much, but he couldn’t utter a word. The stirrings of the troubled soul on the edge of change needs an ear to unload his most precious secrets. Like insects streaking and hunting through his body Queresh possessed this self-doubt, devouring what remained of his confidence.“I’ve never seen you like this,” remarked Rothenberg.“Oh yes you have. I’ve been hiding it, but you’ve seen it.”“When have I seen it?”“Right now. You can say I’m going through changes.”“Everyone goes through changes. Change is not such a bad thing, ya know.”“I’ve got an idea. Let’s.
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