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Rhonda Jenkins even told me her mom lets them sleep together when he stays over. And she has him sleep over a lot, she tells me.Well, that's not me, not my life. I've had a few kisses, that's all. Oh, and they've all been on my lips. Oh, the lips on my mouth. Like I say, I'm pretty inexperienced. The most sexual thing that's ever happened to me was the afternoon that I was getting out of the shower when Mark rushed into the bathroom, I think, wanting to pee. Totally naked, I tried to cover myself up with my hands but we girls just don't have enough hands, do we? I'm sure Mark got an eyeful but I think it must have embarrassed him more than me because he never brought it up after.Then one afternoon, about a month later, we were both sitting at the kitchen table doing homework and I heard him sniffle like he had a bad cold. I looked up and he just sat there looking so sad, just like he might cry."You okay? What's wrong?" I asked as I put my hand over his."Oh, nothing, I don't want to. " After placing an ad in the Village Voice I sat back and waited for orders to pour in like fan mail to Brad Pitt. It instead trickled like fan mail to Zasu Pitts (paging IMDB ap).I did eventually get my first party request in Queens. So I packed up my party favors and rode a train across town. Once there I sought out the locale of my philanthropic efforts: the Dystrophied Arms Retirement Home and Mausoleum. My hopes for riches were dashed but I kept a stiff-upper-lip. A Granny Clampett wannabe answered the door then guided me into her "courting parlor" where she introduced me to her two GILF friends, Dora and May. They had an antiquated hookah on the coffee table inspiring my hopes for a jovial afternoon.They all three seemed depressed. I don't know if it was a lack of sex or gossip or their own impending doom. Plus their treasured yard sales were temporarily verboten. But I was here to boost morale and heart rate.I felt momentarily guilty attempting to extract cash from these.
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